Birth Story Part one'ish

...I accidentally added 'y' to 'part' to make it party.  Ha.

So this part of the birth story is actually not the birth.   My story starts around 36 weeks.

My 36 week appointment was a two-parter.   First we met a with a maternity counselor to go over our birth plan and take the Group B Strep (that one is sooo not fun).   

She asked about bathing the baby after birth, Guss cutting the cord, pain medication, etc.   Then she examined my belly.  

Two minutes later we were in the Ultrasound room.  Since I had Gestational Diabetes I got one more ultrasound than I should.  The only high point of that situation.  We were excited to see our baby boy moving around again but after 30 seconds she got a little quiet.   Then she tells us, looks like your baby is upside down! 

The last hour with the maternity counselor went out the window, totally wasted time.   

The surprising thing?  I wasn't shocked.  It actually all made sense now.   I never imagined my self having a vaginal birth.  I just never did.   And then I started to realize...that's why I only felt movements on my right side.   Duh.  That is why I am peeing every 5 minutes.  He is literally sitting on my bladder.  

The doctor told us that the baby was actually frank breech, not the most common breech/upside down position.   Here are 2 creepy pictures of what that means. (and if you really want to freak yourself out google frank breech and look at the pictures)

Our doctor gave us the option...external version or c-section?  Thankfully he gave us a few days to think about it so I could figure things out.

External version?  Extremely painful.  They literally move your baby, using their hands, on the outside of your body.  Plus, it's a 50/50 chance the baby could move back, 50/50 it wouldn't work, and I would have to be admitted because it can force labor.   Um....no thank you.

So we scheduled our c-section.  And that part comes tomorrow, including how I spent my last day knowing it was my last day before having a baby.

Also some random notes on the this post.

* A great thing about having a breech baby...never having to get internal exams in the later weeks of pregnancy.

* I believe I was given the diabetes because Mason was breech.  If I didn't have it, I wouldn't have had that extra ultrasound.  My doctor admitted he couldn't tell he was breech and neither did the maternity counselor 5 minutes before that ultrasound. 

* I thought of if I had lived in older times.   I don't think I would have survived labor having had trying to give birth to a frank breech baby.   

Good times.   :)

It Could Be Worse . . .

 In my opinion, until you have a child you are mostly selfish. Especially in my case.

I never wanted to be sick, hurting, etc.   But ever since I had Mason, if he had a cold, I would wish I would instead.  If he hurt himself, I wished I would be the one hurting instead.

__________________________

Two weeks ago I noticed Mason had a rash.  It mostly was his back and sides.

We thought maybe it was a few things.  He had gotten new clothes and we didn't wash them before he wore them.  (Even though we had done that since he was around 9 months old).  We also had tried a different detergent.   Thinking he might be having a reaction, we switched back.

After a week I called the doctor and they said if it doesn't get better call back in a week.  Especially if he isn't sick because viruses are what usually cause rashes.

Week two arrives.   I finally make the doctors appointment.   I wasn't really worried because it was just a rash.  He was a bit itchy but didn't seem to bother him too much.

The doctor looked him over and *bragging moment* called him the perfect patient because he sat still and was friendly.   Finally he says, "do you want the good news or the bad news?"

I said "both"

Well the good news, it's not a big deal.

  He has a manageable skin problem...eczema.

The bad news? 

He will have it his whole life and it may eventually lead to asthma.

At first I was OK.  The doctor told us it was a hassle (himself and his children have it) but it wasn't life threatening.

Obviously that is good news.  I mean he has to put on special lotion every day and if he has flare ups put on a steroid lotion.

Then I get to the car and it hits me.

He will have it his whole life.

Will he get picked on?   Will girls think it's gross?  Will it affect his confidence?

And then I started crying.   I was/am so thankful it wasn't worse.  But I don't want my child to suffer.  I don't want him getting picked on.   Someone looking at him strange because he has this rash for a chunk of his life.  Thinking they might catch it or think he's gross. 

I wish it would have happened to me.  I can handle it.  But what if he can't.   

It may seem so trivial, but we all know how cruel and truthful kids can be...and then teenagers?   I don't even want to think about it.

Snuggling with his Sesame Street friends.

Playing with toys that were once mine.

Right now I had to vent/share my feelings.   I know it could be worse and thank the heavens all the time it isn't.   I will try not to show my worry to him.  But I just hope and pray it won't even be a problem.   

Scrambled

Scrambled thoughts, not eggs.  Even though I am hungry now.

Hmmm.

* Jessica Simpson pregnant again?  

 Oh no, what about her million dollar contract with Weight Watchers?

  Big Deal.  She's a person. 

 She can get pregnant again if she wants, even before losing all the weight from the first time. *gasp*

  Or maybe it is all just a rumor.

This is obviously not her now.  

* Anyone watch X Factor? 

 So I really like the all-girl group Fifth Harmony, however I'm skeptical.  In today's world I don't see an all girl group making it.  They are really good but anyone remember P. Diddy and Making the Band?   I liked Danity Kane but that did not last long.

* Dancing with the Stars.  

I am so happy Melissa won.  I love Shawn Johnson but come on, we needed a new champion and Melissa definitely earned it.

* Weight Watchers.  

Yeah I did it.  

Now if only I could actually get used to keeping track of everything that I eat and drink.  Ugh.

* Baby Fever.  

My cousin just had a baby girl, Lily, the other day.   And Mason is almost 3.  That itch has started again.  However I really want to lose some weight before I try and get pregnant.   I had Gestational Diabetes with Mason and I know it will be coming with the next pregnancy so I need to try and get healthier for my sake and the baby's. 

* My son.

He has actually been liking to go to time-out lately.  He thinks it's a fun game.  Help me.

* Power ball?  

I didn't win.

And finally, 

* I wish I was taking a nap right now.

--- I'm Out. ---

Keeping It Real (Part 2)

Hello!  It's Tuesday!  Is that good?  :)


So if you didn't read yesterday's post, here you go.  


Today I am talking about that word.  Depression.  


Depression runs in my family.  My mom and 2 sisters have/had it and I always thought..."well that will never happen to me."
The first time I have ever heard of depression is when I was called to the Guidance Counselor's office in High School.   She wanted to talk about my mom.  
My mom used to (and still is in some ways)  a strong, blunt, air force officer, nurse.  She used to wake up before all of us and have her breakfast & coffee.  Then she told me what she was going through... she was constantly worried about money (even though we had enough), that I would come home and find my dad dead. (he has heart problems), and so much more.


So awhile ago my husband and I got into a fight.  I won't get into details but he said something to me that made me really upset.  "You are only happy now when you are sleeping".  I actually didn't get upset with him but actually myself.  Because it dawned on me...oh my gosh...he's right.


I hadn't really paid attention to myself lately but that made me open my eyes.  For the past few weeks and the few weeks after he said that, I realized I was changing.  


I was wanting to do nothing.  Literally.   I don't want to go anywhere, eat, work out, read, read blogs, write blog posts, watch TV (that's big for me).  Also I don't want to shower or get dressed.  Besides feeding, changing, and dressing Mason, I just sit there.  I would sit on the couch and just stare.  Every now and then I play a game on my iPad, then just sit and stare.


Guss started getting worried and finally asked, what can we do?  I wanted to go to the Doctor's but I don't really have good insurance.  But I finally realized, I can't live like this...so next Wednesday I am off to the see a Doctor.  I just hope it helps.