Me & A day in my life . . .

So yah I've been slacking with this everyday in May....no surprise from the biggest procrastinator known to live.   

However I wanted to participate in a few in the past few days and hope to at least do the rest of the month.  

A favorite photo of yourself and why.

I love candid photos.  The two photos I chose were both when i didn't know when they were being taken.

 I used to use this photo for my blog and about me but since it was 2007 I finally switched it.  However I love it.  It was taken by a friend when I was studying abroad.  We were atop of the Frauenkirche in Dresden Germany.  

Then there is this one.   It was our (Guss & ours) second annual housewarming party and someone took this after I crawled under the table.  I just love that everyone in this photo is laughing.  We don't even know someone took the picture.  

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A day in my life.  I did this awhile ago and for the life of me, I can't find the link.  So here is a day in my life now...with a 3 year old.

 My alarm clock wakes me up and plays with my iPad, while I struggle to open my eyes.

 We (he) feeds the dog.  His chore.

 We eat.

 We learn German.

 We go for a walk. (Now that there is nice enough weather.)

We check out our Thrift sale findings.

 We hang out.

 Mom drinks relaxes while watching TV.

Everyday is a variety of the same including, cleaning, downing caffeine, playing games on the iPad, blogging, and chasing around a very naughty 3 year sold.

On a happier note ...

First off thank you for your comments on my previous post.  I always get nervous writing those posts.  I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me but I like getting it off my chest...and the support from you guys, is just great.  So on a happier note...

10 things that make you really happy

1) The obvious: Family

2) Coffee

3) Germany.  Man I miss that place.

4) Showers.   I think I'm addicted to them.   They are a place to get away...as long as I lock the door.

5) TV.  I love it.   Right now, 'Scandal' is ah-mazing.  You don't watch it?  Watch it.   Blows. Your. Mind.

6) Football

7) Art.   I love it all and I actually miss college where I got to learn more.   (But I don't miss the homework) - this work is important due to the artist's technique.  He used all tiny dots to make this painting. Cool, huh?

8) Water.  My dream is to live on some type of water someday.  Whether it be the ocean or a lake.  I am so at peace just sitting there in front of water.   

9) Reading.  I come from parents of readers...fast readers.  And I am so thankful for that.  I can read a book in less than a day if I have the time.

10) Paper/Journals.  I don't know why but I just have hoarded collected paper/journals/notebooks forever.  Some I haven't even written it...but I love them.  And below is my newest purchase.  

Lost

~ I'm ashamed I already fell off the "Everyday in May" boat.   I really wanted to make it.  I also hate being such a Debbie Downer *wah wahhh* in my posts but I really like to keep things real.  So the first part of today is just that...real.   Second part, I will  get back into this May blog challenge and share some happy things ~

I'm feeling lost.

I have been struggling with depression, anxiety, and OCD for awhile and I thought I was getting it under control.

But lately I have felt lost...

Lost in life, friendships, relationships, family, and even just everyday things.

I haven't been able to set my mind straight, get thing done, accomplish even the smallest goals like cleaning the house.

I'm struggling.

Relationships with my family, friends, if I even have any, and even my own son.

Being a stay at home mom has its advantages.  Some people even like to think they don't do anything.  But right now I feel like because of being one, I lost who I am.  What I like to do, who I wanted to be.   Why did I even go to college to get a degree if all I'm going to do is chase around a kid all day.  I'm sorry if that sounds ungrateful, but it's hard.   Hard giving up your life to cater to just one tiny person.

I love my child, and I would die for him.  But what happened to me? Why does it feel like I have nothing to turn to?

I'm just lost.   And that's the best way to describe it.

Precious Moments

Cheesy title right?  But they are both so cute.   

I am afraid.

Everyday in May topic today?

The thing you are most afraid of?  Besides the obvious: death, spiders, snakes, etc...the thing I am afraid of the most?

Car washes.

I almost hyperventilate if I see one, I refuse to go through one.  I actually had a hard time finding a picture because I didn't want to look at it.

A year ago my parents got a car wash and I got out and waited out in the freezing weather just so I wouldn't have to go through it.  

I don't know why it is so terrifying...all I know is that last night when I was thinking about writing this post, I had a nightmare about a car wash.   *shudder*

They suck.