In my opinion, until you have a child you are mostly selfish. Especially in my case.
I never wanted to be sick, hurting, etc. But ever since I had Mason, if he had a cold, I would wish I would instead. If he hurt himself, I wished I would be the one hurting instead.
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Two weeks ago I noticed Mason had a rash. It mostly was his back and sides.
We thought maybe it was a few things. He had gotten new clothes and we didn't wash them before he wore them. (Even though we had done that since he was around 9 months old). We also had tried a different detergent. Thinking he might be having a reaction, we switched back.
After a week I called the doctor and they said if it doesn't get better call back in a week. Especially if he isn't sick because viruses are what usually cause rashes.
Week two arrives. I finally make the doctors appointment. I wasn't really worried because it was just a rash. He was a bit itchy but didn't seem to bother him too much.
The doctor looked him over and *bragging moment* called him the perfect patient because he sat still and was friendly. Finally he says, "do you want the good news or the bad news?"
I said "both"
Well the good news, it's not a big deal.
He has a manageable skin problem...eczema.
The bad news?
He will have it his whole life and it may eventually lead to asthma.
At first I was OK. The doctor told us it was a hassle (himself and his children have it) but it wasn't life threatening.
Obviously that is good news. I mean he has to put on special lotion every day and if he has flare ups put on a steroid lotion.
Then I get to the car and it hits me.
He will have it his whole life.
Will he get picked on? Will girls think it's gross? Will it affect his confidence?
And then I started crying. I was/am so thankful it wasn't worse. But I don't want my child to suffer. I don't want him getting picked on. Someone looking at him strange because he has this rash for a chunk of his life. Thinking they might catch it or think he's gross.
I wish it would have happened to me. I can handle it. But what if he can't.
It may seem so trivial, but we all know how cruel and truthful kids can be...and then teenagers? I don't even want to think about it.
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Snuggling with his Sesame Street friends. |
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Playing with toys that were once mine. |
Right now I had to vent/share my feelings. I know it could be worse and thank the heavens all the time it isn't. I will try not to show my worry to him. But I just hope and pray it won't even be a problem.