Keeping It Real (Part 2)

Hello!  It's Tuesday!  Is that good?  :)


So if you didn't read yesterday's post, here you go.  


Today I am talking about that word.  Depression.  


Depression runs in my family.  My mom and 2 sisters have/had it and I always thought..."well that will never happen to me."
The first time I have ever heard of depression is when I was called to the Guidance Counselor's office in High School.   She wanted to talk about my mom.  
My mom used to (and still is in some ways)  a strong, blunt, air force officer, nurse.  She used to wake up before all of us and have her breakfast & coffee.  Then she told me what she was going through... she was constantly worried about money (even though we had enough), that I would come home and find my dad dead. (he has heart problems), and so much more.


So awhile ago my husband and I got into a fight.  I won't get into details but he said something to me that made me really upset.  "You are only happy now when you are sleeping".  I actually didn't get upset with him but actually myself.  Because it dawned on me...oh my gosh...he's right.


I hadn't really paid attention to myself lately but that made me open my eyes.  For the past few weeks and the few weeks after he said that, I realized I was changing.  


I was wanting to do nothing.  Literally.   I don't want to go anywhere, eat, work out, read, read blogs, write blog posts, watch TV (that's big for me).  Also I don't want to shower or get dressed.  Besides feeding, changing, and dressing Mason, I just sit there.  I would sit on the couch and just stare.  Every now and then I play a game on my iPad, then just sit and stare.


Guss started getting worried and finally asked, what can we do?  I wanted to go to the Doctor's but I don't really have good insurance.  But I finally realized, I can't live like this...so next Wednesday I am off to the see a Doctor.  I just hope it helps.