We Will Return You To Your Regular Scheduled Programming ...

... In September.

I know...what a long ass break.   But I really took control of this summer and did stuff.

We went to the beach, fair, park, swimming pool, parties, etc.

I would return this week but I'm off to babysit my nieces for a week.  And watching a 3 year old (Mason) and a 2 year old AND a 1 year...I think I will busy.

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However...a few things I have learned this past 2 months.

1) Kinky blue tastes pretty amazing.   But will make you cry if you have too much.

2) Do not give Rumplemintz to my

 husband.  Or he will be *cough* puking

 *cough* for for a few hours.

3) Do not.  I repeat DO NOT try to get lucky, in a car, in a bar parking lot.  This is not my experience but my observation.  We regular folk don't need to see...um...."things" in your foggy car as we mosey on past.  Ew.

Peace lovies. 

I miss this.

Me & A day in my life . . .

So yah I've been slacking with this everyday in May....no surprise from the biggest procrastinator known to live.   

However I wanted to participate in a few in the past few days and hope to at least do the rest of the month.  

A favorite photo of yourself and why.

I love candid photos.  The two photos I chose were both when i didn't know when they were being taken.

 I used to use this photo for my blog and about me but since it was 2007 I finally switched it.  However I love it.  It was taken by a friend when I was studying abroad.  We were atop of the Frauenkirche in Dresden Germany.  

Then there is this one.   It was our (Guss & ours) second annual housewarming party and someone took this after I crawled under the table.  I just love that everyone in this photo is laughing.  We don't even know someone took the picture.  

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A day in my life.  I did this awhile ago and for the life of me, I can't find the link.  So here is a day in my life now...with a 3 year old.

 My alarm clock wakes me up and plays with my iPad, while I struggle to open my eyes.

 We (he) feeds the dog.  His chore.

 We eat.

 We learn German.

 We go for a walk. (Now that there is nice enough weather.)

We check out our Thrift sale findings.

 We hang out.

 Mom drinks relaxes while watching TV.

Everyday is a variety of the same including, cleaning, downing caffeine, playing games on the iPad, blogging, and chasing around a very naughty 3 year old.

On a happier note ...

First off thank you for your comments on my previous post.  I always get nervous writing those posts.  I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me but I like getting it off my chest...and the support from you guys, is just great.  So on a happier note...

10 things that make you really happy

1) The obvious: Family

2) Coffee

3) Germany.  Man I miss that place.

4) Showers.   I think I'm addicted to them.   They are a place to get away...as long as I lock the door.

5) TV.  I love it.   Right now, 'Scandal' is ah-mazing.  You don't watch it?  Watch it.   Blows. Your. Mind.

6) Football

7) Art.   I love it all and I actually miss college where I got to learn more.   (But I don't miss the homework) - this work is important due to the artist's technique.  He used all tiny dots to make this painting. Cool, huh?

8) Water.  My dream is to live on some type of water someday.  Whether it be the ocean or a lake.  I am so at peace just sitting there in front of water.   

9) Reading.  I come from parents of readers...fast readers.  And I am so thankful for that.  I can read a book in less than a day if I have the time.

10) Paper/Journals.  I don't know why but I just have hoarded collected paper/journals/notebooks forever.  Some I haven't even written it...but I love them.  And below is my newest purchase.  

Lost

~ I'm ashamed I already fell off the "Everyday in May" boat.   I really wanted to make it.  I also hate being such a Debbie Downer *wah wahhh* in my posts but I really like to keep things real.  So the first part of today is just that...real.   Second part, I will  get back into this May blog challenge and share some happy things ~

I'm feeling lost.

I have been struggling with depression, anxiety, and OCD for awhile and I thought I was getting it under control.

But lately I have felt lost...

Lost in life, friendships, relationships, family, and even just everyday things.

I haven't been able to set my mind straight, get thing done, accomplish even the smallest goals like cleaning the house.

I'm struggling.

Relationships with my family, friends, if I even have any, and even my own son.

Being a stay at home mom has its advantages.  Some people even like to think they don't do anything.  But right now I feel like because of being one, I lost who I am.  What I like to do, who I wanted to be.   Why did I even go to college to get a degree if all I'm going to do is chase around a kid all day.  I'm sorry if that sounds ungrateful, but it's hard.   Hard giving up your life to cater to just one tiny person.

I love my child, and I would die for him.  But what happened to me? Why does it feel like I have nothing to turn to?

I'm just lost.   And that's the best way to describe it.

Quotes - Day 4

        Day 4 : Favorite quote.     I don't know how anyone can just choose one.   I will just three with you.  And that was hard to do. :)  I was going to explain why these are some of my favorite but I think they speak for themselves.  Just some things I need to remember.  

               

Jealousy is Ugly

It really is.  An ugly, ugly thing.  In my opinion, jealousy is one of the worst feelings ever. 

Besides depression, anxiety, OCD, I feel like this is the biggest thing I have always struggled with.

However, at times,  I am confused why I struggle with this.   I had a good childhood, parents who gave me attention and loved me, sisters who acted like siblings should, was always encouraged and never put down growing up.

The only thing I can think is being continually bullied and lack of self confidence.

My bullying is a whole other post but I believe it makes you feel smaller, like you aren't as good as everyone else. 

My main struggles include:

* Friendship - Having your friend go out with other people without you or without even asking you.  Having fun without you.   Doing more things with other people, than you.  It is absolutely ridiculous...but you can't help but feel it.

* Love

* Blog - more followers, more comments, etc.

* Looks - look at how pretty she is, skinny she is, how cool her clothes are

* Family - (this will completely confuse you but makes sense to me) why do my sisters have another sister they can be close with/make her the godmother of their child even though we are closer.  And the fact that my other sister is pretty much a stranger to me.

- sounds like High School, huh? -

I am sensitive person.  Always have been, always will.  I don't always see it as a problem but when it comes to jealousy I do.  In ways I have been getting better.  I was seriously jealous when Guss & I first started dating.  Now I am comfortable in my marriage, and trust him so it isn't really a problem.  However I struggle daily...literally daily, with the rest. It bothers me, angers me, and shames me to think that something so small in certain cases can affect me.  

I will probably work toward being free of jealousy my whole life.  I wish I could just turn it off, but I can't

Do you struggle with jealousy?  If you don't I envy you and I would love to hear some advice/tips.  

I am still alive...I swear

So I haven't been around for awhile.  Probably the biggest blog break I have ever taken.

Well the first week, Guss was on vacation.  So I did a lot of sleeping in...and being lazy.  And you ya know, family time.  And then...a number of things.   

Here is the list in no particular order:   

* Being busy

* Being lazy

* Laundry

* Talking with my sister whom I haven't talked to in 15 years....yah that's a story.

* Identity crisis

* Career crisis

* Life crisis

* Family/Relationship insecurities

* Attempting to potty train a child

* Working at a dance studio with an impending Recital

* Reading about 8 books in less than 2 weeks.

So all in all.  I suck.  My problem is I have so many ideas and things to write about, but I end up doing other things more important.   Like watching TV, or drinking.   

However, I started advertising with Neely (if you haven't heard of her then go here), and if I want to get my moneys worth then I need to start a'bloggin.   I actually don't really care about sponsoring but I love Neely's blog and she is one of the best.  So, well, there ya go.

Yes I realize I don't make a lot of sense.

Please come back soon, even if it isn't coherent.  The best is yet to come.  (Oh and sorry for no pictures...that is another lazy aspect of my life).  Wow, I really sound like a winner don't I?

P.S.  I will be announcing the date of the Midwest Blogger get together   That is also something I had a mini breakdown about.  But I'm back on the train.

P.P.S.  I have been so horrible at replying to comments.  I am so sorry and I appreciate all of them.  From now on, I will be responding and not being such a bad person :)

Untitled

Another sad day.   Today my uncle Larry passed away.  I know I don't have to post about his passing but I feel like it's a way to share how great he was.

He was definitely the outgoing one in the family, so that meant I got to hear stories about my Dad when he was younger that he didn't want me to hear.   Larry was so much fun, always willing to give out a hug and tell a joke.  Besides an extended family who loves him, he leaves behind 2 daughters, 7 grandchildren, wife and mother.

We  had a blast at weddings (you can laugh at my dance moves)

 He & his wife (also my Godmother) had finally retired and had been staying in Arizona over the winter.

And I think this is the picture that touches me the most.  Just his face showing how much he loves his mother.  I think most of all please keep my Aunt and my Grandmother in your thoughts.  As you can imagine, they aren't taking this well.

Simplifying

So I when I first started this "thing" I am going to talk about, I called it "purging".  Then I realized it was a gross word that made me think about some bad things.  So I went with - simplifying.


So lately I have felt so overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed about all the books and magazines I wanted to read.  The shows I wanted to watch, the house I wanted to clean. Just the constant to-do lists that had things never crossed off.  I feel that attributed to my depression.  Where there is so much to do but no desire to do it.  Or no energy.  


But that changes now.


It started with looking in my bathroom.  The closet was full of stuff I never used, and the medicine cabinet as well.  I started thinking...this is ridiculous...there is way too much stuff I have.  And I don't even need it.  So the list of simplifying began.  This is what I am going through to simplifying my life.


- make up
- bathroom closet (shampoos, body washes, etc) 
- clothes
- purses
- dishes (we have so many extra cups and mugs we have acquired over the years)
- facebook friends (do i really care what my 8th grade friend whom I never talk to has to say?)
- people i follow on twitter  (people i followed just to win a giveaway...really?!)
- blogs i follow (i have so many every-day reads I follow, but then I have blogs I have followed just because they have followed me...I'm sorry...I need to give you up)
- even Mason's toys makes the cut.  he doesn't play with all of them and they just create clutter in my house.


I will be giving stuff I don't need to Savor's (like a goodwill here in my area), Once upon a Child (a second hand shop for kids), or selling it.  I just want to get rid of the stuff I don't need and focus on the life I am living.


Have you ever decided to throw stuff out to simplify your life?  Or do you need to?


P.S. Tomorrow, you will hear about my past week and weekend.  It was quite eventful!

Bachelors (and not just the show)

Ok - so today's post was going to be about my adventures in carpet cleaning.  Exciting, no?  But that I will save for tomorrow.  After watching last night's "The Bachelor" and hearing a friend's (from High School) story, I thought I would post about Bachelor parties as well.

First.  'The Bachelor'.  Sorry if you don't watch - this part might bore you.  So last night a girl from a previous season Shawntel (a funeral director) came back to try and have a chance with this season's Bachelor.  Of course that is a little weird and I wouldn't be surprised if the producers had a hand in it, but the way the girls reacted drove me crazy. 

Shawntel

- This one girl kept saying "you don't know him!" and another girl said "I'm going to get dumped for some girl he has known 3 minutes".  Well truthfully it was said they had talked times before he became the Bachelor...so obviously she knew him.

- Some girl called her creepy because she was a funeral director.  Ok, probably to most that is creepy but you know what?  Someone has to do it...and it is her job.  When you grow up in a family business like that - it probably isn't creepy to you.

- The girls kept saying it was unfair.  Well you know what? If this was the real world, at any time a girl could come in and try and date your guy.  Love really isn't a game.  (Like that cliche?) 

- And the biggest thing that bothered me?  One of the girls was saying "He doesn't want Brad's (previous Bachelor) dumpster trash."  Well you know what ladies?  You are trying to date (and unrealistically get engaged to) a guy who was on a previous season.  So he is technically Ashley's trash.  

Finally about 'The Bachelor'?  That Courtney girl (the model) - her face doesn't seem to move to me.  She has a constant duck face.  

Courtney

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Onto the Bachelor party story.  I just need to know how ya'll would feel/react if your husband/significant other did this.  I know for a fact my husband has never been to a strip club.  I have once in the Czech Republic (story for another day) and Guss doesn't even have friends that go there.  To tell you the truth...it would probably bother me a little but after this story I definitely don't want him going to one.

So a girl I went to High School with, her sister was getting married.  So her husband was naturally invited to the Bachelor party.  Well this Bachelor party was at a Strip Club (big surprise right?).  Well afterwards she found out what happened and has been upset ever since.  

Apparently all the guys that went chipped in $20.  They were taken to a big shower room and they were each given 2 minutes to loofah/scrub this stripper.  That's it.  They spend over 100 bucks scrubbing some girl up.  This actually disgusts me.  If you have a wife/fiance/girlfriend...how about you don't waste the 20 buck, you go home, romance your whatever and soap her up for free!  The thing that also bothered me is that he said it was awesome. Really?  That's sad.  And it makes you that stereotypical guy.  Truthfully if my husband did that and thought it was awesome...I would think 'who is this guy?'

Hate this shirt. 

What do you think about strip clubs?  Or I suppose a club where strippers get washed (ew)?  Do you watch 'The Bachelor'?

So Excited...

I did it....I ordered an Erin Condren planner!  I have been wanting one for a while now so I am very giddy *nerd*.  It is expensive but I am getting it as an early Christmas gift from my mother-in-law.  I am the person who constantly has a planner and is writing things down, so I know it will be worth it!  Of course I will show it off when I get it but here is the one I am getting.  I really like it because I got to personalize the favorites on the cover. (of course it will be my name though)