Never Ever EVER ...

Linking up today with Neely's one day link-up:
I would never ever EVER say...


Let me mow the lawn

I can sing better than you.

no, no...one glass of wine is fine.

Coffee?  disgusting!

Oh yay!  More snow!!!

Let me get that poopy diaper.

Sure, I don't need Internet on my phone.   

Let's get rid of the TV!!!

I want 5 kids!

More chocolate!

I would love to give a speech!

... I am sure there are a bunch more I would never say but I'm just getting over a stomach virus (thank you Guss & Mason) so I'm more lazy than usual.   Anyways have a great Tuesday!   And I'm excited to read other people "never ever evers" 

Midwest Bloggers - Announcement

We have finally finalized a date for the get together that will be in Chicago.

* June 22, 2013 * 

More details to come, but it would be a great help if you could let me know if you plan on coming. It would help in finalizing some other things as well.  So please leave a comment or email me!   :)

Jealousy is Ugly

It really is.  An ugly, ugly thing.  In my opinion, jealousy is one of the worst feelings ever. 

Besides depression, anxiety, OCD, I feel like this is the biggest thing I have always struggled with.

However, at times,  I am confused why I struggle with this.   I had a good childhood, parents who gave me attention and loved me, sisters who acted like siblings should, was always encouraged and never put down growing up.

The only thing I can think is being continually bullied and lack of self confidence.

My bullying is a whole other post but I believe it makes you feel smaller, like you aren't as good as everyone else. 

My main struggles include:

* Friendship - Having your friend go out with other people without you or without even asking you.  Having fun without you.   Doing more things with other people, than you.  It is absolutely ridiculous...but you can't help but feel it.

* Love

* Blog - more followers, more comments, etc.

* Looks - look at how pretty she is, skinny she is, how cool her clothes are

* Family - (this will completely confuse you but makes sense to me) why do my sisters have another sister they can be close with/make her the godmother of their child even though we are closer.  And the fact that my other sister is pretty much a stranger to me.

- sounds like High School, huh? -

I am sensitive person.  Always have been, always will.  I don't always see it as a problem but when it comes to jealousy I do.  In ways I have been getting better.  I was seriously jealous when Guss & I first started dating.  Now I am comfortable in my marriage, and trust him so it isn't really a problem.  However I struggle daily...literally daily, with the rest. It bothers me, angers me, and shames me to think that something so small in certain cases can affect me.  

I will probably work toward being free of jealousy my whole life.  I wish I could just turn it off, but I can't

Do you struggle with jealousy?  If you don't I envy you and I would love to hear some advice/tips.  

I am still alive...I swear

So I haven't been around for awhile.  Probably the biggest blog break I have ever taken.

Well the first week, Guss was on vacation.  So I did a lot of sleeping in...and being lazy.  And you ya know, family time.  And then...a number of things.   

Here is the list in no particular order:   

* Being busy

* Being lazy

* Laundry

* Talking with my sister whom I haven't talked to in 15 years....yah that's a story.

* Identity crisis

* Career crisis

* Life crisis

* Family/Relationship insecurities

* Attempting to potty train a child

* Working at a dance studio with an impending Recital

* Reading about 8 books in less than 2 weeks.

So all in all.  I suck.  My problem is I have so many ideas and things to write about, but I end up doing other things more important.   Like watching TV, or drinking.   

However, I started advertising with Neely (if you haven't heard of her then go here), and if I want to get my moneys worth then I need to start a'bloggin.   I actually don't really care about sponsoring but I love Neely's blog and she is one of the best.  So, well, there ya go.

Yes I realize I don't make a lot of sense.

Please come back soon, even if it isn't coherent.  The best is yet to come.  (Oh and sorry for no pictures...that is another lazy aspect of my life).  Wow, I really sound like a winner don't I?

P.S.  I will be announcing the date of the Midwest Blogger get together   That is also something I had a mini breakdown about.  But I'm back on the train.

P.P.S.  I have been so horrible at replying to comments.  I am so sorry and I appreciate all of them.  From now on, I will be responding and not being such a bad person :)

A Sunday Pinterest Social

So I'm doing the Social thingy today.  Today the topics are all about Pinterest (follow me on my sidebar).   I of course can't choose just one pin so I have multiple.  And for some random reason the Sunday beers I am feeling a bit goofy.

All About Pinterest

1. What is your favorite outfit pin?

 Regular day

 casual day

 fancy day

2. What is your favorite food pin?

I have made this twice.  If you like spicy and pasta you will probably like this.  However if you don't like spicy...skip it.   

3. What is your favorite wedding pin?

I'm already married but if I could redo it I would love a barn wedding.

4. What is your favorite DIY/craft pin?

I love planning & lists!

5. What is your favorite quote/verse/lyric pin?

 Funny.  "Get Low"

Serious.  And true.

6. Share one three more random pins you love.

This here is true.  

This literally makes me laugh every time I see it.

 One of my favorite "Friends" moments.

Happy Sunday!   It is the premiere of "Mad Men" tonight!!!  whoop whoop!

I have a 3 year old...Hold me.

Today my baby turns 3 years old.   I never thought I would be one of those moms who had trouble with their child getting older...I mean it happens.  It happened to my mom, me, my husband....and now my baby.    Breathe.

Ok...I'm done.   I have a 3 year old.   Happy Birthday to my Monster, my Tornado,  my May-May, my Buddy, my Carl (and then he will proceed to say "no Mason!"), and my Scottie Don't.   

I hope my Mason Scott has a great day today and a fun mini-party tomorrow.   

Also I know two some of you are waiting for the rest of my birth story.  That is coming on Monday, don't worry.  If there is one thing that you can count on me to do it's procrastinate.   

 Watching mom get her hair did.

Birth Story Part one'ish

...I accidentally added 'y' to 'part' to make it party.  Ha.

So this part of the birth story is actually not the birth.   My story starts around 36 weeks.

My 36 week appointment was a two-parter.   First we met a with a maternity counselor to go over our birth plan and take the Group B Strep (that one is sooo not fun).   

She asked about bathing the baby after birth, Guss cutting the cord, pain medication, etc.   Then she examined my belly.  

Two minutes later we were in the Ultrasound room.  Since I had Gestational Diabetes I got one more ultrasound than I should.  The only high point of that situation.  We were excited to see our baby boy moving around again but after 30 seconds she got a little quiet.   Then she tells us, looks like your baby is upside down! 

The last hour with the maternity counselor went out the window, totally wasted time.   

The surprising thing?  I wasn't shocked.  It actually all made sense now.   I never imagined my self having a vaginal birth.  I just never did.   And then I started to realize...that's why I only felt movements on my right side.   Duh.  That is why I am peeing every 5 minutes.  He is literally sitting on my bladder.  

The doctor told us that the baby was actually frank breech, not the most common breech/upside down position.   Here are 2 creepy pictures of what that means. (and if you really want to freak yourself out google frank breech and look at the pictures)

Our doctor gave us the option...external version or c-section?  Thankfully he gave us a few days to think about it so I could figure things out.

External version?  Extremely painful.  They literally move your baby, using their hands, on the outside of your body.  Plus, it's a 50/50 chance the baby could move back, 50/50 it wouldn't work, and I would have to be admitted because it can force labor.   Um....no thank you.

So we scheduled our c-section.  And that part comes tomorrow, including how I spent my last day knowing it was my last day before having a baby.

Also some random notes on the this post.

* A great thing about having a breech baby...never having to get internal exams in the later weeks of pregnancy.

* I believe I was given the diabetes because Mason was breech.  If I didn't have it, I wouldn't have had that extra ultrasound.  My doctor admitted he couldn't tell he was breech and neither did the maternity counselor 5 minutes before that ultrasound. 

* I thought of if I had lived in older times.   I don't think I would have survived labor having had trying to give birth to a frank breech baby.   

Good times.   :)

Flashback to my Bump

This week on the blog is Baby "no-I'm-not-pregnant-in-honor-of-Mason's-birthday" Week! whew.

* warning - a few of these weeks posts are quite lengthy * 

I didn't have this blog when I was pregnant so I never got to show updates or bump pics.  So since Mason is turning 3 (picture me crying in a corner) Friday, I figured I would share some things.

The first blog I ever had was for my pregnancy but it was for family.  If you really like this kind of stuff you can read all the posts here.

Alright here we go....

I have seen this a lot on people's blogs (changed to fit me) -

Maternity clothes? I loved maternity

 clothes.  Maternity jeans?  best thing 

ever.  I won't lie, I used them till up to

 a year after having Mason.  they are 

sweats that look like jeans.

Stretch marks? Oh yeah.  I'm not one

 of those fortunate ones.   My sister 

during her 2nd pregnancy finally got

 some and isn't half bad as the ones I

 have now.  Bitch.

Sleep? Sucked.  I had to pee

 constantly.  I would literally go to the

 bathroom, walk out and turn around

 and walk right back in.   At one point I

 slept in a recliner.   It was horrible.

Miss anything? Totally missed

 drinking.  Not going to lie.

Movement? Loved it at first...and then

 since he was HUGE I thought he was

 going to bust out of my stomach.

Food cravings? Non-pregnant?   I lean

 toward salty 

things...pregnant?...sugar,

 sugar, sugar.  Cookies, Ice Cream,

 Cinnamon Rolls.

Anything making you queasy or

 sick? First trimester I barely ate at all.

Nothing sounded good.  Then the things

 I still can't eat after having Mason?

  Sun-dried tomatoes.   They still make

 me nausea. 

Labor Signs? I had maybe one or two

 Braxton Hicks...other than that I never

 had labor signs.

Wedding rings on or off? Off. I didn't

 want to risk them being cut off so I

 nixed them second trimester.

Mood? Exhausted and clingy.  I am not 

a cuddle person but while pregnant I

 drove Guss crazy by clinging to him.

---------------------------------

Some important notes of my pregnancy.

* Gestational diabetes.  Not going to

 lie...it sucks.  Especially if you are

  pregnant girl who craves sweets.  

* Around 36 weeks we discovered Mason was breech.    We were offered an external version but opted out.  I heard it was super painful and not even guaranteed.   And (as you will read in my birth story) he was too big anyways.

* We had three names ready to go - Emerson, Weston, and Mason.    I still love Emerson and always have and I didn't like the nickname Wes.

Now, some bump pictures

 17 Weeks

 19 Week ultrasound.  He looks like a kangaroo!

 22 Weeks

 26 Weeks

 32 Weeks - totally popped.

 35 Weeks

38 Weeks

39 Weeks.  The morning he was born.

Things I don't miss about being pregnant:  * hormones * constipation * horrible acid in the throat * the diabetes * tired * out of breath easy * gigantic boobs * not being able to drink or eat certain things.

Things I miss: * his (non-painful) movements * ultrasounds/heartbeat * people being nice to me (helping you and giving you exceptions) * before the diabetes, eating what I wanted.

Tomorrow...Birth Story Part I.    Mine is a bit unique because I had a scheduled C-Section.   Come back!   :)