Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Jealousy is Ugly

It really is.  An ugly, ugly thing.  In my opinion, jealousy is one of the worst feelings ever. 

Besides depression, anxiety, OCD, I feel like this is the biggest thing I have always struggled with.

However, at times,  I am confused why I struggle with this.   I had a good childhood, parents who gave me attention and loved me, sisters who acted like siblings should, was always encouraged and never put down growing up.

The only thing I can think is being continually bullied and lack of self confidence.

My bullying is a whole other post but I believe it makes you feel smaller, like you aren't as good as everyone else. 

My main struggles include:

* Friendship - Having your friend go out with other people without you or without even asking you.  Having fun without you.   Doing more things with other people, than you.  It is absolutely ridiculous...but you can't help but feel it.

* Love
* Blog - more followers, more comments, etc.
* Looks - look at how pretty she is, skinny she is, how cool her clothes are
* Family - (this will completely confuse you but makes sense to me) why do my sisters have another sister they can be close with/make her the godmother of their child even though we are closer.  And the fact that my other sister is pretty much a stranger to me.

- sounds like High School, huh? -

I am sensitive person.  Always have been, always will.  I don't always see it as a problem but when it comes to jealousy I do.  In ways I have been getting better.  I was seriously jealous when Guss & I first started dating.  Now I am comfortable in my marriage, and trust him so it isn't really a problem.  However I struggle daily...literally daily, with the rest. It bothers me, angers me, and shames me to think that something so small in certain cases can affect me.  

I will probably work toward being free of jealousy my whole life.  I wish I could just turn it off, but I can't

Do you struggle with jealousy?  If you don't I envy you and I would love to hear some advice/tips.  


Renee said...

Totally struggle with this!! I don't have any advice i'm sorry, but if you get any that works please pass it on!! It's such a hard area to work on!

Monica said...

I definitely struggle with jealousy and being away from home has seriously upped my jealousy since seeing friends & family hanging out and spending time with each other without me! Its something I try to work on because I know that I must stop comparing myself to others.

Ashley said...

I can totally relate to this :) I think everyone gets jealous at some point in their life, some of us just feel it more deeply than others or let it affect us more. I've always been jealous of people who have sisters, lol. I always wanted a sister! I keep telling my husband I want two of each that way our kids will at least never be able to complain about not having a sister or a brother!

Brittany said...

Jealously for sure is a tough thing. And I hate it. I hate when I am jealous of someone and when it makes me feel insecure.

jessica said...

Oh girrrl I struggle with the same thing, every day :( It's not a fun thing to always compare yourself to others but I can relate with on the fact that it probably comes from bullying and self esteem issues. It's getting better as I've gotten older and become a mom but that jealousy does sneak in still. I wish I had advice but hopefully it helps you to know that you're not alone!!

Amy Green @ Sweet Home Amy said...

I can definitely relate. I get jealous when I hear about my bff being close with another girl, even though we live across the country from each other and obviously we each need to have social lives in our own cities! I still get little twings of jealousy. And I hate it!

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